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so, this is real life [02 Nov 2009|11:57am] skaterinpink [ mood | amused ] [ music | two more years | bloc party ] one more thing that is a serious downside of my house...we have virtually no plug-in's, and if you use an octopus or plug too many things in at one time, the breaker blows. no big deal except that the switchboards are not in our apartment...so if the breaker gets blown upstairs (i did this last week running my crab light, lamp, mini-fridge and laptop), you have to go to the upstairs apartment, pray they are home, and flip the switch, or else you're left sitting in darkness. if you blow the breaker downstairs (i just, just did this using the kettle and toaster oven), you have to go to the downstairs apartment and hope he is home, or else the power to the fridge is off. he is not home this morning, so none of our plug-in's in the kitchen work, and we need to keep our fridge shut until he returns, haha. i really like this place, but mannn...i CAN NOT WAIT to have a place where i don't accept shit like this as a fact of life. i don't want to accept moldy ceilings, constantly running toilets and leaky taps, floods, broken doors and windows, scary neighbours, etc. on a bright note, i can add some things to my list of things i love. one of them is peeking out from under blankets with a room full of terrified people, watching horror movies (and then watching happy movies after, so we can all get to sleep). another is last night's taco night. i remember when i lived on champlain, we would often have family taco night, and it was always tasty bonding time. lastly, i love saturday and sunday mornings when we gather after our respective adventures, tell stories and try to piece together our evenings, while nursing our hangovers. for the good and the bad, i think this phase of my life right now just epitomizes what it's like to be a twenty-something, just trying to get by. blown breakers and leaky pipes suck...but i know this is an era of my life that i will miss. i have absolutely no regrets about taking a year off school in order to do this before i buckle down and commit myself to some form of 'real life'...although the older i get, i'm starting to think that it's all relative. i'm pretty sure, i'll be spending most of my 30's and 40's and so on, talking about when 'real life' begins. i'm pretty sure it's already happening. i'm pretty sure it's happening all of the time. i like that :) xo for michelle post comment

house sweet house [26 Oct 2009|01:05pm] skaterinpink [ mood | content ] [ music | not what you think it is | dan mangan ] i really like my new house :) it's probably taken me a little longer than i had hoped to start to feel like i actually belong here, because i'm always so busy, but i'm starting to feel less and less like an invader. today is my first scheduled day off (that isn't a concert) since school started, so i actually had time to take a hot shower, make a nice breakfast and even watch a little tv. the ladies are all at work, so i have the place to myself, and upon looking around...i really like this house, even if it is a bit ghetto, heh. i think it's definitely the nicest place i've lived in so far. i love the hardwood floors, the big living room, and my cozy room with the big window. the only things that i don't like is that 1) there is only one washroom (although i have yet to run into any sort of real opposition with this yet), and 2) i have to go outside to get to the coin wash in the basement, and the dryer likes to eat my clothes. unfortunately there hasn't been a ton of time for room mate bonding, but there is still lots of room for that. the girls are very sweet, and often invite me places, which i so, so appreciate. i'm not totally there yet...but it is definitely starting to feel like home :). xo for michelle post comment

coming to terms with like, love and infinite possibility [25 Oct 2009|05:14pm] skaterinpink [ mood | sloth-like ] [ music | i like what you say | nada surf ] i'm starting to open my heart to the idea of developing crushes on other people. i'm not interested in a relationship right now. i don't imagine i will start another one here in north bay...the end of my time here is just coming so fast, and i don't think i can deal with the heartache of leaving someone behind. besides, i think it's good for me to take some time out for myself. since i was sixteen, i have spent considerably more time in a relationship than not. i tend to go for the long haul. i mean, carlos was my shortest and we still dated for like 7 or 8 months (of course, half this time he was in british columbia). but, it's nice to know that it is possible. it is possible for me to still feel for other people. i mean, i'm not. not really...but i can. when nathan first left me, i felt like i was so broken, that it would be impossible for me to ever care again. i didn't want to be able to care for anyone every again. but now i do. i know that there is someone out there for me. there has to be. i mean, i know i'm dysfunctional sometimes. i know i'm emotional, and chaotic, and eccentric. but there's also a part of me that is very simple. there is a part of me that can be loved, and not just for a little while. over the years, i've basically been told that i'm someone difficult to forget...but god, how they just want to forget. i want a future that doesn't involve forgetting. i don't want to be a disease you just can't shake. i want a love that is both simple and chaotic. i like to think that there is good in me that deserves this. but i guess i am getting ahead of myself a little. i'm not counting on finding this today or tomorrow or next week. right now, i'm not really looking. i suppose, in the end, it's always better to let these things find you anyway. but, it's just nice to know...for myself...that i will be okay. i can still feel, and i am still willing to sacrifice my heart in the quest for the greatest love. remember that innocent love i spoke of earlier? i think i was wrong about that. i don't think it died afterall. i think that regardless of the heartbreaks i have experienced, and will likely experience in the future, i will always, always be willing to toss myself overboard hook, line and sinker. it's just in my nature to love completely. my heart has been chipped at, broken, and reconstructed over the years, but it still refuses to settle for anything less than extraordinary. xo for michelle post comment

Saint of Circumstance [24 Oct 2009|10:39am] carnalcure This must be heaven, last station on the line. You must be the angel, I thought I might never find. Was it you I heard singing, Oh while I was chasin' dreams. Driven on the wind, like the dust that blows around, And the rain fallin' down, but I never know. Got to be heaven, cause here's where the rainbow ends. If this ain't the real thing, then it's close enough to pretend. When that wind blows, when the night's about to fall. You can hear the silence call, it's a certain sort of sound, Like the rain fallin' down. Holes in what's left of my reason, holes in the knees of my blues. Odds against me been increasin', but I'll pull through. I never could read no road map, I don't know what the weather might do. But when that rich wind whines and I see the dark star shine, I got a feeling there's no time to lose, no time to lose. Never know now, just don't never know, no. Well it's been heaven, but even the rainbows will end. Now my sails are fillin' and the wind is willin'. And I'm as good as gone again. I'm still walkin', so I'm sure that I can dance. Just a Saint of Circumstance, just a tiger in a trance. And the rain fallin' down, well, you never know, just don't know. Listen, sure don't know what I going for, but I'm gonna go for it for sure... post comment

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