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finding the pieces and making them fit [14 Nov 2009|01:02am] skaterinpink [ mood | empowered ] i've been partying pretty hard lately. too hard, really. it's been pretty fun, and the madness is only going to escalate over the next few weeks. i've got a ton of sweet parties and concerts to attend that will no doubt turn out some stories. i guess this was like a coping thing- a way to remind myself how to be social. how to meet people. how to carry on. but it's not ALL OF me. there's this other pretty huge part of me that loves to stay in and wear sweatpants and be a big, cheesy nerd. i was supposed to go to country pub tonight. or go play risk and drink chick drinks at nathan's. but i decided to do neither. instead, i wastched just friends, while eating triscuits, drinking milk and totally being a bum by myself. and it was great. i mean, the movie was pretty mediocre, but just the DOWN TIME, and knowing that i'm not wasting money, or polluting myself and that i won't feel like shit in the morning. i spent the first few years of school being a total party animal. i spent the past year or two, desperately trying not to be anymore. i realize now that i love both. there's lots of sides to me that are dynamic and complex and surprising. i'm loving going out with friends, and meeting new people and being silly, but i also NEED time to myself to just clear my head, and think, and take care of myself. i need to restore some balance in my life, because i'm not really going to grow as a person if i don't. on a similar note, i'm learning so much. somehow, buried within the irresponsibility of late, i'm finding fragments of myself that i'm interested in nurturing. i feel like all throughout university i've been given these pieces of myself, and only now am i learning how to put it all together. i can feel parts of myself...maturing. i think that's the right word. regardless, it's a pretty exciting process! xo for michelle ps: my heart is in a very interesting place lately. post comment

about gossip [08 Nov 2009|09:27pm] skaterinpink [ mood | frustrated ] talking to my ex-boyfriend about my current personal life...i'm missing the point of this. 1) whether, it's fact, fiction or somewhere in between, i'm sure he doesn't really want to hear it. i mean, why would he? and why would you think that he could POSSIBLY be interested in that sort of thing. i mean, we're moving on with our lives, and i'm sure he understands that this means that i will eventually meet and start seeing new people, but i'm pretty certain he doesn't need or want you to discuss it with him. 2) it certainly doesn't bring ME any great joy. being gossiped about makes me feel like my trust has been violated. if i have confided in you about anything, than i would trust that you have the common sense to keep it between us. if i haven't confided in you, than how in the hell is it your business to be making assumptions?! seeing as how i have very little to confide in people about, i'm leaning towards option number two. seriously, get a life! fuck off! 3) what benefit do YOU get from this?! i mean, nathan doesn't want to hear about it. i don't want you talking about it. it DEFINITELY doesn't concern you or impact your life in any way. even if you find the gossip juicy or interesting, what in the hell do you get from sharing and spreading nonsense?! is your life seriously, so boring and shallow that you need to concern yourself with the goings-on of others?! how petty and shallow. this really isn't a direct attack on anyone, because i'm not really sure who is at fault. for some reason, people have been tip-toeing around me and saving all of the juicy stuff for nathan. i don't have much of a romantic life to talk about, so there really isn't much to spread around, but it seems people manage anyway. regardless, nathan and i do still talk. we ARE still friends, and we've made it clear that we will respect each other. NEITHER of us appreciate this shit. we don't like when you gossip about him, and we don't like when you gossip about me. it is complicated enough to continue developing a healthy friendship on the remains of a broken relationship. we don't need people interfering and causing hurt feelings or anything else. i mean, i'm assuming you're our friend. well, you're supposed to be. why would you WANT to interfere?! why can't you just be happy that he and i are still friends, and that we're recovering in the best ways we know how. so, please, hear my plea...just mind your own business! i'm a pretty open and honest person, so if you're so interested, talk TO me, not ABOUT me! thanks :) xo for michelle post comment

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